I get irritated at times and when I am irritated I can easily make bad choices but I don't think that I have "anger issues". I don't beat my kids, the dogs, or my wife (but I do think I would get great pleasure from providing my neighbor with a severe beating, but that is a story for another day) and I think mostly I am a pretty calm person. I wanted to make that clear because when I went back and read my first post, I realized that one could easily make the assumption that I am on the edge of a killing spree. My issues are directly related to things like crazy clients and difficult work situations; trying to survive the day-to-day challenges of family debt and finances; and dealing with my pain in the @$$ kids! My kids are the topic of today's post.
I love my kids more than anything and I think the stress that they cause me comes mostly from my desire to see them succeed and for fear that they will fail in life. This concern is mostly with my sons who are 20 and 18 years old and are at a very important time in there lives. "18" has a part time job and is going to a local community college, in my opinion the jury is still out on him. "20" is between jobs and school, he went away to college for a year and that didn't work out very well (for him, but it probably was a good thing for the local pot dealer and liquor store). My fear with him is that the jury has ruled that he is destined for a life of meaningless jobs and relationships; an occasional visit to rehab; welfare, prison, and then the morgue.
We have all heard it before, "you need to learn from your mistakes", but they won't! Isn't the definition of insanity, doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results. If this is true 20 and 18 are insane! I sometimes think they do it on purpose just to get to me, but they go out of the way to beat me down. Having sons, you eventually accept certain things, like the idea that personal hygiene is optional; that a smell (a combination of sweat, bodily excrement, sour milk, dirt, and bacon) will always come from there rooms; that plaid and polka dots match; and that clothes need to be washed after every fifth use (unless its underwear in which case you can get a complete week out them), but what I can't get my head around is that no matter how much advice I give them, they will always do the opposite thing!
I wish I could accept that the wisdom that I have gained in 45 years of existence does not apply to my sons. If I could accept this I would stop trying to help, and then I wouldn't be disappointed when they decide it's a good idea to stick there penis' in a light socket! Okay that didn't happen but it would not surprise me in the least if it did! This is how it would go:
Dad - "son don't stick your penis in that outlet because you will get shocked and it will hurt"
Son - "I do this all the time and it's fun"
Dad - "well at least make sure that you turn the switch off before you........"
Son - BZZZZZZZZ, pop snap, burn, ouch!!!!
Will they ever accept that the stupid things that they decide to do have been done before, quite possibly by me! That because I have experienced these things, I might be able to guide them towards better decisions. If I took no interest in them and was a non-involved father while they grew up, I would understand this lack of respect for me or my opinions, but I was always there to give them advice and in my heart I know they were brought up with solid values. Maybe it's just a phase and at some point a light switch will go off (and hopefully they don't have there penises in the light socket at the other end) and they will suddenly get it! I hope that I can survive until that day comes! That's all for now, see you soon.
