I am a forty-five year old man, married with three kids and I once weighed 536 pounds! It's funny but people talk about a weight loss journey as if it has a beginning, middle and end. My weight loss journey started when I was old enough to realize that I had to do something so that I could be healthier because I was "one thin mint" away from exploding, I know now that it will have no end and thus have no middle. I guess the moment of impending "thin mintiness" hit when I was about 24 years old. in the time since I have struggled to lose weight and be more healthy and I have often made progress only to see that progress slip away and my weight to grow.
In July of 2009 I joined Weight Watchers with my wife and for 15 months I followed the program to the letter and lost more than 150 pounds. Since then my commitment has been less than perfect and I have gone long periods of time without attending a meeting, or going to the gym, which has resulted in some weight gain, stress, low self-esteem, stress eating, etc.
There is no mystery or secret for my lack of commitment to the WW program recently. The title of my blog says it all, I get stressed out which impacts my emotions which drives me to eat (sometimes literally through a drive through restaurant). I know this, my family knows this, at times I feel like I have no control. Some of my stress comes from my family, and I know when I am stressed they get stressed. When I am stressed I eat, when they are stressed they eat, it is a nasty vicious cycle that is hard to break free from.
I am a man; I watch football; I like cars; I smoke cigars; I play golf; I don't cry (okay maybe at an occasional chick flick); and I am a rock! Hell, one time I actually pulled a splinter out of my finger with my teeth! Stress and emotion cannot possibly affect me! It was hard to admit to myself at first that I needed someones help to lose weight and to take that first trip to WW (imagine how out of place I felt on day one when I walked in and saw that I was only one of a few men, the room was full but with mostly overweight, and middle aged women). Now it's just as hard to admit that sometimes I can't control the stress and that I lean on food to help me through it.
I mentioned earlier that my family causes me stress, but they are not the only source of my angst. My job is often no fun. I have to travel a lot with a recent promotion and I generally don't like it. The economy has hurt my family and I, and at times money becomes a problem. I get stressed when it rains and I can't play golf! I get stressed when the Yankees lose! I get stressed when my favorite hair salon has run out of the mousse that I like (just kidding, there I go again channeling my inner femininity). Bottom line is that I am usually STRESSED.
I am guessing that I do not have any problems that 98% of the men in my age group with similar careers and families don't also have, but maybe I deal with it differently then the guys who I want to run over in my car when I see them jogging down my street, with there flat stomach's and single chin. So in a never ending search to understand how I can be a better and healthier me, I am looking for ways to deal. This is where this blog came from. I spoke to a health professional who made the suggestion that I journal my stress thoughts as a way to identify when I am stressed (duh, always!) and to identify what causes it (duh, kids, money, job!). Rather than journal I thought lets Blog it and share it with the world (or my short list of people who I know will actually give a $#%@). So that's it for now, there must be a ball game on! Off we go!
